"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." - Marthe Troly-Curtin

There's no magic pill that can gift you unwavering confidence overnight. It's a skill, dear friend, one that takes time, effort, and the belief that you deserve a slice of the success pie. Whether you're a go-getter in the making, an up-and-coming professional, or someone whose light just needs a little relighting, this guide is your map to building a stronger, unshakeable you.

Understanding Confidence: More Than a Feeling, It's Your Foundation

Confidence isn't just a feel-good vibe or a swagger in your step—it's your core foundation. It's the basement level where you blueprint all your ambitions. But what exactly is it? Confidence is the conviction that you're not just capable, but also worthy. It stands as the guardian to your goals, making sure you don't back down when the going gets tough. We've all tasted moments where an extra dose of confidence seemed like winning the lottery in our battles—be it nailing a presentation, acing that first date, or simply speaking your truth.

But it comes in different flavors:

Blind Confidence vs. Competence-Based Confidence

Blind confidence is the not-so-great part of positive thinking. It’s the belief that things will work out just because you say so. Competence-based confidence, on the other hand, is the real MVP. It’s the justified assurance that comes from knowing you have the skills, knowledge, or experience to tackle a challenge head-on. When you blend the two, that's when the real magic happens.

Puffing up vs. Powering Through

Some people disguise their insecurities with a puffed-up chest and a loud voice. But true confidence is silent. It's the quiet power that fuels you to keep pushing, even when you feel the ground crumbling beneath you. It's the relentless determination to power through.

Building Confidence Brick by Brick

Confidence isn't a house that you move into; it's a home that you build. Layer by layer, we're going to create the structure that makes you feel unshakable. And it all starts with self-awareness.

Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

Knowing yourself means acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses without judgment. It's learning to embrace who you are and understanding how that makes you unique and valuable. Once you have a strong sense of self, confidence will naturally follow. So take the time to get to know yourself better – it's the foundation for building unshakable confidence in all aspects of your life. So, let's start laying those bricks! Let's begin by reflecting on these questions:

• What are my top strengths?

• What are my weaknesses and how can I improve them?

• How do my strengths make me valuable to others?

• Am I truly embracing who I am or am I trying to be someone else?

• What are some aspects of myself that I am proud of?

• How have my unique qualities helped me in the past?

• In what areas do I struggle with confidence and how can I work on improving them?

• How can I use self-awareness to build confidence in my personal and professional life?

As you answer these questions, remember to be kind to yourself and celebrate your strengths. Embrace the things that make you who you are, and use them to fuel your confidence from within. Remember, true confidence is not about being perfect or having all the answers – it's about understanding and accepting yourself for who you are and using that knowledge to grow and thrive. So keep building, brick by brick, and soon enough you will have an unshakable foundation of confidence.

Setting Realistic Goals: Not Too High, Not Too Low

The Goldilocks principle applies to goal-setting too. If your dreams are too grandiose, you set yourself up for a confidence shattering if you don't miraculously achieve them. And if they're too trivial, the victory seems unnoteworthy. Find the middle ground—goals that are just challenging enough to excite you but realistic enough to actually reach.

Failing Forward: The Steve Jobs Confidence Course

The late Steve Jobs once said, “I'm convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.” Learn to fail without flinching. Each stumble is a lesson in disguise, a chisel refining the sculpture of your confidence.

The Pamper Principle

Self-care goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. When you look good, you feel good. It's not about adhering to beauty standards; it's about treating yourself with the respect and care that you deserve. And in those moments when the going gets tough, remind yourself of something you love about you. Affirmations might seem vain, but they're the mirror to your soul, reflecting a picture that you want to see.

Imposter Syndrome: Kicking that Self-Defeat to the Curb

Ever felt like you've tricked everyone into thinking you're better than you are and soon you'll be exposed? Welcome to the club—the imposter syndrome club. It has a way of sneaking into the high points of your life, leaving you feeling like a fraud. But recognition is the first step in combat.

You Are What You Do:

Start taking credit for your successes. They didn't just happen; you made them. Own them with pride and confidence. And when that little voice of doubt creeps in, remind yourself of all the hard work you put in to get where you are today. You deserve every bit of success that comes your way.

Surround Yourself with Winners

The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our mindset and self-confidence. Choose to spend time with those who uplift and motivate you, and distance yourself from those who bring you down. When you're surrounded by positivity, it's easier to maintain a positive outlook on life and believe in yourself. And remember, success is not a competition; there is room for everyone to shine. Keep pushing each other towards greatness.

Continue Striving for Growth

Success is not an endpoint; it's a journey. Don't let your fear of being exposed as a fraud hold you back from continuing to learn and grow. Embrace challenges, even if they seem out of your league. You never know what you're capable of until you try. And remember, making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process. So, don't beat yourself up for them; instead, use them as opportunities to improve and become even better.

Be Curious, Not Judgmental:

Rather than criticizing yourself, be curious about how you can keep growing. It's not about finding flaws but rather ways to enhance your awesomeness. Approach every situation with an open mind and a desire to learn. You'll be surprised at how much you can achieve when you let go of judgment and embrace curiosity. Keep an attitude of continuous learning, and your success will know no bounds.

Let Go of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a common feeling among successful individuals where they doubt their own accomplishments and feel like they don't deserve their success. If you ever feel this way, remember that you are capable and deserving of all your achievements. Let go of the thoughts that hold you back and embrace your unique talents and abilities. Trust in yourself, and others will too. It is time for your to see yourself as others see you. The remarkable force that is you!

Share the Load:

Talking about your insecurities might feel like throwing Salt Bae sprinkles on your wounds. But funny thing about wounds—when you expose them to light, they heal. Find a confidant, a mentor, or even a pet rock named Ralph if you must, but share. You'll be surprised by how many feel the same.

Applying the Armor of Confidence in the Professional Arena

Confidence at work isn't about donning a superhero cape and giving your best Clark Kent impression. It's a silent prowess that makes your words carry weight, your presence felt, and your prowess respected. Growth is not always easy or comfortable, but it's worth it. Don't let fear hold you back from taking risks and trying new things. Have faith in yourself and your abilities, and you will shine in any professional setting. Remember, the only person who can limit your potential is yourself.

Skillful Speaking:

Communication is the most potent tool in your kit. Master it. Whether it's giving a presentation, leading a meeting, or engaging in casual conversation by the water cooler, speak with intention and assurance. Use confident body language, maintain eye contact, and practice active listening. Your words and actions will exude strength and confidence, leaving a lasting impression on those around you. Remember, confidence is not just about what you say, but also how you say it. So speak up and let your voice be heard!

Networking with Purpose:

Networking events can be intimidating for even the most outgoing individuals. But instead of focusing on making connections for the sake of it, approach networking with a purpose and curiosity. Set specific goals for each event, whether it's meeting three new people or learning about a specific industry. This focused approach will give you a clear direction and make the process less daunting.

Picking Ourselves Up:

The professional world is often a lion's den painted with ambition and stress. Be the lion. And if you get bitten, don't whimper, roar. Setbacks and failures are inevitable, but it's how we bounce back that truly matters. Take a step back, evaluate the situation, and learn from your mistakes. Use them as fuel to propel yourself even further towards success. Remember, resilience is a valuable skill in any career journey. And always remember, mistakes are just opportunities to grow and improve. Keep pushing forward and never give up!

Case Studies in Confidence: The Tales That Teach

Stories are the best teachers. They break down complex lessons into simple, relatable moments. They are the universal language of education. And what's learning without a little fun? We've gathered some case studies of inspiring individuals who have mastered the art of confidence. From entrepreneurs to athletes, their stories will inspire you and provide valuable lessons on how to exude confidence in your own life.

The Power Pose

Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, gave a powerful TED talk about the impact of body language on confidence. She shared her research findings on how adopting a "power pose" for just two minutes can increase levels of testosterone and decrease levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. This simple technique can boost your confidence before an important meeting or presentation.

The Magic Words

Singer and actress Jennifer Hudson credits her success to one phrase she learned from her grandmother: "I am here." Whenever she feels nervous or doubtful, she repeats this mantra to remind herself that she belongs and has a right to be in the room. This positive affirmation can help build confidence and remind you of your worth.

The Risk-Taker

Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, took a risk when she quit her job as a door-to-door fax machine salesperson to start her own business. Despite facing multiple rejections, she persevered and eventually built a billion-dollar company. Blakely's story teaches us to have the confidence to take risks and believe in ourselves even when others doubt us.

The Fearless Leader

Serena Williams, one of the greatest tennis players of all time, faced backlash for her style choices on the court. But she never let the critics bring her down and continued to wear what made her feel confident. Her unwavering self-confidence and unapologetic attitude inspire us to stay true to ourselves and not be afraid to stand out.

These are just a few of many inspiring stories that show how confidence can lead to success in various aspects of life. Remember, confidence is not about being perfect or never feeling fear, it's about believing in yourself and your abilities. So the next time you're feeling unsure or scared, channel these women and their powerful words to boost your confidence and achieve your goals. And always remember: you are here, you are capable, and you are worthy of success. Keep shining!

Confidence is Key, Always

We've barely scratched the surface of confidence. But hopefully, you've unearthed a nuance or two about the gem that is your potential. Remember, confidence isn't just a good thing to have; it's the secret weapon. And as you continue your journey of self-improvement, know that in this endless endeavor, your confidence will be the steadfast friend, ever-willing to stand by your side as you conquer your dreams. Now go out there, believe, and know you are worthy!

Keep shining! #ConfidenceIsKey #FearlessLeaders #BelieveInYourself.

Let's Connect

We hope this piece has inspired you to embrace your confidence and take risks in pursuit of success. We would love to hear from you about how these stories have impacted you or share your own story of confidence and success.

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Book Recommendations

If you're anything like me, you're always on the hunt for a good read. But not just any book will do. We're after those gems that not only captivate us but also provide insights we can apply in our professional and personal lives. That's why I've curated this list of must-read books - all New York Times Best Sellers - that promise to enrich your mind and spirit. So, grab a cup of coffee, settle into your favorite chair, and let's dive into these literary treasures together.

ATOMIC HABITS | by James Clear | Avery BUY HERE

HIDDEN POTENTIAL | by Adam Grant | Viking BUY HERE

THINKING FAST AND SLOW | by Daniel Kahneman | Farrar, Straus & Giroux BUY HERE